Lead a Good Life

Daily hints and tips to enhance your life

What You Focus Will Expand

The sun’s energy warms the world. But when you focus it through magnifying glass it can start a fire. Focus is so powerful! (Alan Pariser)

The law of attraction is currently a hot topic within self improvement field. One of the basic of this law is the power of focus. One would have greater chance to get what he want, if he focus on acquiring it. This focus is what becoming their daily thoughts.

Unfortunately, many failures happen because people misuse this great power. Instead of focusing on the goal, they focus on another things which are irrelevant to their primary goal.

Have you been giving more focus on fear than the exhilaration of benefits that you might get if you take actions to fulfill your dream? It’s like two faced coin, and just like everything in the world, it’s all about risk and opportunity. It’s about being half full or half empty. Aim your focus on whatever opportunity that lies ahead, then you will become more passionate to chase your dream.

A single 100 watt light bulb can immediately lighten a room, however, when the same light being funneled through lens tube with a very small diameter, it can turn the light into laser ray capable of splitting any rock into pieces.

Remember that the greatest force within ourselves, whether our thinking, feeling, or actions, when directed correctly will delivers overwhelming results. Successful people are those who are able to focus on whatever they want, instead those who fail focus on another irrelevant and unimportant things.

Make your decision today and try to focus on things that you want the most in your life, and in no time you will achieve what you want

This post is very related to my previous post about information overload, self purpose, or check the life purpose series .

December 13, 2008 Posted by | Discipline, Intra Personal Skill, Life Purpose | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

3 Invaluable Abilities

When you hear the word “work”, you probably imagine sitting in front of computer, or cutting grass in the front yard. In fact, there are three important aspects that lots of people don’t realize

1. Ability to Pay Attention

Paying a good attention requires a lot of efforts, To do it right, you have to listen, and maintain proper eye contact. That’s not all, you will also need to think and digest about those things you are hearing at that moment. On another note, even you have this urge to cut the conversation and speak, you may not. You have to wait your turn for giving comments or to ask something back.

2. Ability to Admit

Admitting that you don’t understand is a way to gain additional information or knowledge. We can have this by asking, but admitting that you need help to finish a job or project that you run is even more important.

Many people do not want to admit they have messed up. They worry that it will ruin their perfect images, result in more works for them, or being blamed by others. Nevertheless, keeping on pretending as the perfect one makes us incapable of learning and growing.

3. Ability to Show Gratitude

Thanking someone for helping us should not be something that has to be told. It should be spontaneous. They just helped us and they will know the sincere-ness in our gratitude. There’s been a lot of stories about decent people that return lost wallet, saving lives, didn’t get any gratitude at all.

Sometimes, however funny it sounds, people feel embarrassed that they need help or have just lost something, but that should not block their way to show their form of appreciation.

December 8, 2008 Posted by | Career, Intra Personal Skill, Leadership | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

4 Attitudes That Lead To Success

Have you ever felt that life is plain and quiet? Claude T. Bissell gives practical solution to have the passion back and make everything sparks.

1. Take Risk Beyond Safe LimitHandshake

Life will be less challenging because we never let ourselves in challenging situations. Of course, there will be risk also behind every challenge, but the risk is the only thing that can get us moving forward.

Bill Gates, richest man in the world is a very smart person who willing to take risk. When IBM need an operating system for their personal computers, their representative Jack Sams called Gates. Bill was unable to fulfill the demand, thus recommend Gary Kildall, owner of Digital Research to Sams. Kildall did not see the monstrous opportunities that laid before his nose and told his wife to do the negotiation. This has let IBM down and they wanted Gates to find another partner.

That time, Gates knew that this is a huge opportunity. He didn’t waste it this time, even knowing that he had nothing of what IBM wanted, he scrambled for solution. Later he was able to develop the MS-DOS (Microsoft – Disk Operating System).

2. Be Attentive More Than What Others Do In General

Whatever it is your profession and your job, must involve human interactions. By increasing care and attention to customers and people around us, success and happiness will follow.

Joe Girard, a salesman who understand well the concept of customer comes first, hold a world record of car sales which listed in Guiness Book of Record after registered 13.001 units of car in 15 years of service. His ability to understand his customers had caused his customers to refer him to their friends and families.

3. Dream Beyond Your Wildest

Big dreams can give us

bigger boost of unleashing inner potential. Steven Spielberg is a true dreamer. His box office movies have already generated USD 8 billion. Jaws, E.T., Jurrasic Park were among them.

4. Expect More, Be Passionate

By having positive expectation in this life, you will become passionate and stay positive no matter what lays ahead. Colonel Sanders is a perfect example of someone having such expectation. He was so passionate to convince chicken restaurant owners to buy his mom’s recipe – an expectation that led him to finally knock on the 1,009th door for his idea to be accepted.

These four solutions have been proven by them in their way to success. Now it’s your turn. Live your life with passion!

Image by thinkpanama

December 6, 2008 Posted by | Career, Change Management, Intra Personal Skill, Life Purpose, Self Improvement | , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 Ways To Move On With Your Life

Ever experience fatal mistake for once in your lifetime? So tremendous and caused many damages? Felt like there’s no cure and nothing we can do to amend it? The fact is, you are not alone. Everybody messed up big time at least once in their life. Think about one of these examples. Perhaps it rings a bell.

  1. Drug and/or booze addicts
  2. Money laundry
  3. Cheating on spouse
  4. Public lies
  5. Murder
  6. Burglary
  7. HIV infected from free sex or drug needle
  8. Misconduct in workplace, demotion
  9. Being laid off out of no reason
  10. Hit someone with your vehicle
  11. (The case could add up infinitely as different people has different encounter)

Usually, people messed up because of poor character. Because people choose to compromise over than to show their true character. Chances are, people with stronger character, provided they have a positive values, won’t mess up so easily. It is always a good investment to work on your character.

So, it’s done. Now what? There’s nothing we can do to change it, no matter how much time or resource we take to remorse or to amend them. This is something, that even many times have been said, that “we will never be able to change the past”. Forget those sci-fi movies with time machine and time traveler in them. Chances are those will be unlikely to happen in centuries ahead.

If we can not change the past, then the wisest thing to do is to ‘forget’ it. Each time after a huge disaster, there’s always an aftermath and mostly this is the painful part. We deal with our losses, with our loved one’s losses and it hurt, very bad. The 9/11 tragedy in NYC, the Aceh tsunami, onto the latest Mumbai attack. These left wounds. Wounds to be dealt with.

How can we forget such tragedy? Usually, time heals everything. Human has this very unique traits of slowly letting things go as time goes by. It doesn’t, however, cure the wound completely. But it will get better if given some time.

Here are few tips so we can overcome the feeling quicker and get on with our life.

1. Be Positive.

To the universe, we are only a particle of a dust. So if you think, you have a BIG problem. Think again. Try to think this way. Pull yourself away from your complicated thoughts and see if this is what you called a big problem. Other people might have had worse ones. So, instead, count yourself lucky. Only by being positive thinking, you can actually see there are lights at the end of tunnel and that this is not the end of the world.

2. Embrace Your Current Condition.

I know that you probably still haven’t accept your current condition. You don’t accept yourself being sacked unfairly, being robbed, being cheated, or diagnosed with deadly disease. But hey, this is a world where everyday people run forward. And they won’t stop even if they know your condition. This is the world where the fast outran the slow. The strong take out the weak. So unless you stop regretting what you shouldn’t have done or feeling so bad of mis-treated by someone and start to accept that this is your ACTUAL condition, you will never be able to move on. A book by Jim Collins “Good to Great” has revealed on a “Stockdale Paradox” whose held captive as Viet Cong prisoner in Vietnam war and he managed to survive because he (1) accepted that he was indeed a prisoner, living prisoner’s life, with no guarantee getting out from there alive, but at the same time he also (2) believed that one day, he will be out from there and reunite with his families.

3. Start Get Your Life Back.

When was your last time before the tragedy; hang out with your friends, went out to the bar, catch a movie, go skiing, eating out with your spouse, go bungee jumping ?(if this is what it takes of course). Anything that could get your lifeline going. You need sparks to light up your life. If you think you have been sitting too long, then you probably are correct. So stand up, make a plan on what to do this weekend, do it, and have fun with it.

4. Forgive Them, No Matter How Hard.

This is to some people probably the hardest part, especially when you are the victims. However hard though, forgiveness is needed in order to accept your current situation. Forgiving is not and never about losing. If you let things go and forgive those who has betrayed or treated you bad, you will be much more relaxed and you will have no chance of being the person you once hate. This is of course very possible because you have minimized the chance of retaliation to zero. If you think you can’t look them in the eyes and forgive them, then don’t force it. Give it sometime. Forgiveness is meant to be sincere. It has to be done and it has to be sincere. That simple.

5. There’s Always Reason Behind Everything.

Yes there is always a positive reason behind every tragedy. Unfortunately, we can only guess what it will be and will never know until we get it in the future. We can only connect them backward, not forward. Each of us has a noble role in this world, from the day we’re born. So this is our responsibility for God, our loved ones, and the society we live in.

December 1, 2008 Posted by | Change Management, Discipline, Intra Personal Skill, Life Purpose, Self Confidence, Self Improvement, Stress Management | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Self Purposeness

One of the most frequent question we had when we’re young was “what do you want to be when you grow up?” And perhaps many of us ‘at that particular moment’ didn’t care at all about that. “We still got plenty of time, why bother?” this line of statement must had been there also.

I went to business school about 4 years ago and there was one subject that really caught my attention. It was called “people skill”. Basically, it’s all about intra and inter-personal skill. It’s about developing your social traits and self control.

One night, my lecturer asked the audiences that question and we’re supposed to answer. Many of us couldn’t answer, included me. Or to make it softer, even if we did, we weren’t sure about our answers. It is NOT easy to find a TRUE self purpose. As hard as it is, I will share 2 methods that I find useful in finding one’s self purpose.
I believe many of us have heard about that notorious Steve Jobs graduation night speech in Stanford College. I remember, there he said that he was once diagnosed of having cancer and that he was only allowed to live for several months – at most. He was devastated, confused, but somehow, at the same time he found out that he had to spend the most of his time building his dream.
1. Last Day
So, this is one technique. Ask yourself “If today is the last day of my life, what will I do? What is it that I need to do most instead of others?” Because when you’re about to die, nothing else matters. Pride is no longer a factor. Doubt is also not a factor.
Have you ever tell your loved ones that you love them? If you do, have you told them enough?
Have you do led a good life all this time?
Have you make peace to God?
Have you been valuable to your family? society? Have you give enough?
Go to somewhere private and tranquil, then ask yourself those questions over and over again until you find your answer.
2. How you want people to remember you by?
Yes, how do you want to remember you when you’ve died? Adolf Hitler is famous. And so does Mother Theresa. But people remember them different. One is dictator, biggest war criminal in mankind history, the other is a humble human being, devoted only to give and fight for the good of others.
How do you want people to remember you?
The criminal?
The sleek?
The liar?
The unfaithful?
The indifferent?
The kind?
The great?
It is all up to us. However stubborn we are, however we think we’re right. We can’t declare our reputation. What we do, how we think and talk, will then be JUDGED by others and their perception on us is our reputation.
One thing about reputation is that it is always over-estimated. It walks two steps in front of us. If you are very good in one subject, people will tend to over estimate you that you are also good at the others. It works the opposite. Lie once, and people will perceive you as all time liar. There is such thing as “LEVERAGE” if you’re talking about reputation.
To wrap things up, self purposeness is not all about career only, or finance alone. It consist of a more noble direction. And noble direction is, to be valuable for others, to give.
Have a nice day!

November 3, 2008 Posted by | Intra Personal Skill, Life Purpose, Self Improvement | , , , , , , | 3 Comments