Lead a Good Life

Daily hints and tips to enhance your life

People CAN Change

I’ve read an article written by a famous business person stating that “people never change”. Here’s how I look at the statement.

I will tell you how my life is. As far as I can remember I had a pretty good life. My childhood years were exciting. As a teenager, I grew in a very supportive environment. My passing grades were excellent. I’m married now to a lovely wife and have two cute children.

I’ve always been competitive in everything and hate to lose. This has been me since I was a kid. I believe that the competition was what kept me going chasing all those grades back then in school.

Then I went to college and when I was graduated, I was hired by a big company and being positioned as a junior manager in a production plant. Without me realizing, that character of “craving for victory” was still there and reflected in my daily activities.

Now at this point, I need to tell you, even I assume you already knew, that it was different in school from at workplace. When you study, you study yourself; of course there were group assignments, but it was pretty much solo. You work hard all by YOURSELF”, then you get the grades. It’s that simple.

But it’s different in workplace. In order to ‘win’, we have to work with the other and you know what? I had huge problem doing that because I used to be star and I just couldn’t stand working as a team. I felt the urge to stand out from the other.

The rest, I think you can guess, that eventually I won more enemies to friends – much more, and it was consuming me. I was 22 years old by the way. It’s hard living your day, knowing that people despised you. Then I realized that something is wrong, but I was perhaps too foolish or too young…or both…to realize that at instant. The climax was when some group of workers plot against me by ceasing the production deliberately. It happened for almost a week and had caused the company a fortune. They plotted against me because I was cutting back their overtime. I didn’t think they need OT, because the demand were slowing down. And nobody at that time in that company has ever done that before. I was lucky number one 🙂

Luckily, all the bosses were supporting me and they knew that whatever I decided was merely to cut unnecessary cost, the problem was, it was lack of communication, so I’ve told. I was somehow cheered by the board’s reaction, but couldn’t lift my head up, knowing damages has been done. Two months after the incident, I resigned.

I didn’t automatically start to look for a new job. Why? Because I know that something was wrong. I knew something was wrong because I feel guilty. For causing one week of production loss, for cutting another’s income, for leaving the company that needed me so much. Yes, after what I did, they still asked me to stay after I state my resignation. The process of the handover itself took 3 months after I really left the company.

So, back to the main issue, I decided to cool my head off and tried to figure what’s wrong with me. It was one year until I decided to get a new job and to continue my study. During that one year, I pondered every single day and came to a conclusion that I need to change. I need to change the way I behave, I promised myself that I will not be a selfish person no more, I realize that I need to be supportive, instead of suppressive. And that winning is not the only important thing in life. There’re love, caring, participation, understanding, and empathy that’s just much more important than my previous definition of ‘Winning’.

Then I changed. I think I’ve changed..a lot. My life also has changed eventually. I have plenty of friends in my new company and I’m lucky enough to be promoted to a senior management level in my early 30’s. By the way, I still love to win. But I’m not leaving anybody behind. If people around me win, because I help them, then I win. That’s my new definition. So, YES, people CHANGE, providing there’s LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE that trigger inner motivation.

I hope my experience can inspire positive insights for you. Have a nice day!

Image by carf

November 3, 2008 Posted by | Change Management, Intra Personal Skill, Self Improvement | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment