Lead a Good Life

Daily hints and tips to enhance your life

4 Attitudes That Lead To Success

Have you ever felt that life is plain and quiet? Claude T. Bissell gives practical solution to have the passion back and make everything sparks.

1. Take Risk Beyond Safe LimitHandshake

Life will be less challenging because we never let ourselves in challenging situations. Of course, there will be risk also behind every challenge, but the risk is the only thing that can get us moving forward.

Bill Gates, richest man in the world is a very smart person who willing to take risk. When IBM need an operating system for their personal computers, their representative Jack Sams called Gates. Bill was unable to fulfill the demand, thus recommend Gary Kildall, owner of Digital Research to Sams. Kildall did not see the monstrous opportunities that laid before his nose and told his wife to do the negotiation. This has let IBM down and they wanted Gates to find another partner.

That time, Gates knew that this is a huge opportunity. He didn’t waste it this time, even knowing that he had nothing of what IBM wanted, he scrambled for solution. Later he was able to develop the MS-DOS (Microsoft – Disk Operating System).

2. Be Attentive More Than What Others Do In General

Whatever it is your profession and your job, must involve human interactions. By increasing care and attention to customers and people around us, success and happiness will follow.

Joe Girard, a salesman who understand well the concept of customer comes first, hold a world record of car sales which listed in Guiness Book of Record after registered 13.001 units of car in 15 years of service. His ability to understand his customers had caused his customers to refer him to their friends and families.

3. Dream Beyond Your Wildest

Big dreams can give us

bigger boost of unleashing inner potential. Steven Spielberg is a true dreamer. His box office movies have already generated USD 8 billion. Jaws, E.T., Jurrasic Park were among them.

4. Expect More, Be Passionate

By having positive expectation in this life, you will become passionate and stay positive no matter what lays ahead. Colonel Sanders is a perfect example of someone having such expectation. He was so passionate to convince chicken restaurant owners to buy his mom’s recipe – an expectation that led him to finally knock on the 1,009th door for his idea to be accepted.

These four solutions have been proven by them in their way to success. Now it’s your turn. Live your life with passion!

Image by thinkpanama

December 6, 2008 Posted by | Career, Change Management, Intra Personal Skill, Life Purpose, Self Improvement | , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 Ways To Move On With Your Life

Ever experience fatal mistake for once in your lifetime? So tremendous and caused many damages? Felt like there’s no cure and nothing we can do to amend it? The fact is, you are not alone. Everybody messed up big time at least once in their life. Think about one of these examples. Perhaps it rings a bell.

  1. Drug and/or booze addicts
  2. Money laundry
  3. Cheating on spouse
  4. Public lies
  5. Murder
  6. Burglary
  7. HIV infected from free sex or drug needle
  8. Misconduct in workplace, demotion
  9. Being laid off out of no reason
  10. Hit someone with your vehicle
  11. (The case could add up infinitely as different people has different encounter)

Usually, people messed up because of poor character. Because people choose to compromise over than to show their true character. Chances are, people with stronger character, provided they have a positive values, won’t mess up so easily. It is always a good investment to work on your character.

So, it’s done. Now what? There’s nothing we can do to change it, no matter how much time or resource we take to remorse or to amend them. This is something, that even many times have been said, that “we will never be able to change the past”. Forget those sci-fi movies with time machine and time traveler in them. Chances are those will be unlikely to happen in centuries ahead.

If we can not change the past, then the wisest thing to do is to ‘forget’ it. Each time after a huge disaster, there’s always an aftermath and mostly this is the painful part. We deal with our losses, with our loved one’s losses and it hurt, very bad. The 9/11 tragedy in NYC, the Aceh tsunami, onto the latest Mumbai attack. These left wounds. Wounds to be dealt with.

How can we forget such tragedy? Usually, time heals everything. Human has this very unique traits of slowly letting things go as time goes by. It doesn’t, however, cure the wound completely. But it will get better if given some time.

Here are few tips so we can overcome the feeling quicker and get on with our life.

1. Be Positive.

To the universe, we are only a particle of a dust. So if you think, you have a BIG problem. Think again. Try to think this way. Pull yourself away from your complicated thoughts and see if this is what you called a big problem. Other people might have had worse ones. So, instead, count yourself lucky. Only by being positive thinking, you can actually see there are lights at the end of tunnel and that this is not the end of the world.

2. Embrace Your Current Condition.

I know that you probably still haven’t accept your current condition. You don’t accept yourself being sacked unfairly, being robbed, being cheated, or diagnosed with deadly disease. But hey, this is a world where everyday people run forward. And they won’t stop even if they know your condition. This is the world where the fast outran the slow. The strong take out the weak. So unless you stop regretting what you shouldn’t have done or feeling so bad of mis-treated by someone and start to accept that this is your ACTUAL condition, you will never be able to move on. A book by Jim Collins “Good to Great” has revealed on a “Stockdale Paradox” whose held captive as Viet Cong prisoner in Vietnam war and he managed to survive because he (1) accepted that he was indeed a prisoner, living prisoner’s life, with no guarantee getting out from there alive, but at the same time he also (2) believed that one day, he will be out from there and reunite with his families.

3. Start Get Your Life Back.

When was your last time before the tragedy; hang out with your friends, went out to the bar, catch a movie, go skiing, eating out with your spouse, go bungee jumping ?(if this is what it takes of course). Anything that could get your lifeline going. You need sparks to light up your life. If you think you have been sitting too long, then you probably are correct. So stand up, make a plan on what to do this weekend, do it, and have fun with it.

4. Forgive Them, No Matter How Hard.

This is to some people probably the hardest part, especially when you are the victims. However hard though, forgiveness is needed in order to accept your current situation. Forgiving is not and never about losing. If you let things go and forgive those who has betrayed or treated you bad, you will be much more relaxed and you will have no chance of being the person you once hate. This is of course very possible because you have minimized the chance of retaliation to zero. If you think you can’t look them in the eyes and forgive them, then don’t force it. Give it sometime. Forgiveness is meant to be sincere. It has to be done and it has to be sincere. That simple.

5. There’s Always Reason Behind Everything.

Yes there is always a positive reason behind every tragedy. Unfortunately, we can only guess what it will be and will never know until we get it in the future. We can only connect them backward, not forward. Each of us has a noble role in this world, from the day we’re born. So this is our responsibility for God, our loved ones, and the society we live in.

December 1, 2008 Posted by | Change Management, Discipline, Intra Personal Skill, Life Purpose, Self Confidence, Self Improvement, Stress Management | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Art Of Letting Go

What I’m about to share to you is a case that happens in Gucci, one of the most high-end apparel label in the world originated from Italy. This happens about a decade ago when Gucci was faced with financial problem, family feud, and counterfeiting issues. The company was in a downward spiral at that moment because of a poor management.

Then they hired Tom Ford, a top notch designer from America to handle everything from design to product launch. Suddenly, there were signs of life. Tom worked very hard to get the company going and has done a great job according to the original shareholder, the Gucci family.

Then the shareholder changed, which means that the Gucci family is no longer in control. And the current shareholder was not amused at the “already much better” performance of the company because they think that the company was too “Tom-centric” that decision was so centralized even a mid manager could not or dare not decide for small things. This is also worsen by the celebrity status that Tom possess.

Then they changed the company CEO. They summoned Robert Polet, a Frenchman from Unilever, a huge company in consumer goods industry. Polet was handling ice cream business before he was asked to lead Gucci.

The media and fashion world was somewhat shocked by the shareholder’s decision to sack Tom and have Polet at the helm. How come an “ice cream guy” which strategy was a mass marketing and mass production can run a very delicate business of ultra niche market like Gucci had? There were jeers and boos heard from everywhere, yet the show went on.

Surprisingly, Gucci now has managed to perform much much better even compared to the moment when Tom left the company. In an interview with Polet, he revealed the secret that made him succeed. He knew that he is not a fashion guy and he will never be, so instead of doing designs, he managed to hire people to do it for him and for your information, Gucci has many brands under it’s belt that it is just almost impossible to undertake the task centrally. Polet called it “the art of letting go” that he gave full authority and responsibilty for each business unit to perform their activities and decide everything that’s necessary to achieve the goals that they had agreed before.

Now, there are three positive insights in this business case:

1. Always get the right people to do the job.

Before you have the right people on your bus and before you let the wrong people off the bus, never set the bus direction. In every business, it is not the hardware, or the system, product, appearance, or even quality that’s the most important. You will never have those if you have the wrong people working with you.

2. Give Them Direction and Watch Them Grow.

Jack Welch of GE has illustrated that managing people is like planting seeds in the right soil, then all we have to do is water them then sit back and watch them grow. Of course, occasionally, we have to pull out some weeds, but basically, it is like planting.

3. Be adaptive to changes.

Don’t be trapped in complacency. It is every leader’s biggest pitfall and unfortunately happens only on successful ones. Current condition work only for now. Yesterday might not be relevant anymore. And things have to improve for tomorrow. Set new objectives, challenge yourself and the team for better target. If the water is too still, it’s not alright. If you get all the brains moving, your company will move forward also.

November 30, 2008 Posted by | Career, Change Management, Leadership, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Charisma – The Invisible Power That Gives You The Edge

Most people think of charisma as something mystical, almost undefinable. They think it’s a quality that comes at birth or not at all. But that’s not true.

Charisma plainly stated, is the ability to draw people near you. And like any other traits, it can be developed.

To make yourself the kind of person who attracts others, you need to personify these pointers:

1. Love Life

People enjoy leaders who enjoy life. Think of people you want to spend time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Depressed? Of course not. They’re celebrators, not complainers. They’re passionate about life. If you want to attract people, you need to be like the people you enjoy being with.

2. Put a “10” on Every Person’s Head

One of the best things you can do for people which also attracts them to you is to expect the best of them. I call it putting a “10” on everyone’s head. It helps others think more highly of themselves, and at the same time, it also helps you. If you appreciate others, encourage them, and help them reach their potential, they will love you for it.

3. Give People Hope

French General Napoleon Bonaparte characterized leaders as “dealers in hope.” Like all great leaders, he knew that hope is the greatest of all possessions. If you can be the person who bestows that gift on others, they will be attracted to you, and they will be forever grateful.

4. Share Yourself

People love leaders who share themselves and their life journeys. As you lead people, give of yourself. Share wisdom, resources, and even special occasions.

When it comes to charisma, the bottom line is otherminded-ness. Leader who think about others and their concerns before thinking of themselves exhibit charisma.

Now, to improve your charisma, do the following:

1. Change your Focus. Observe your interaction with people during the next few years. As you talk to others, determine how much of your conversation is concentrated on yourself. Determine to tip the balance in favor of focusing on others.

2. Play the first impression game. Try an experiment. The next time you meet someone for the first time, try your best to make good impression. Learn the person’s name. Focus on his interests. Be positive. And most important, treat him as a “10”. If you can do this for a day, you can do this everyday. And it will increase your charisma overnight.

3. Share yourself. Make it your long term goal to share your resources with others. Think about how you can add value to five people in your life this year. They can be family members, colleagues, employees, or friends. Provide resources to help them grow personally and professionally, and share your personal journey with them.

November 28, 2008 Posted by | Career, Change Management, Intra Personal Skill, Leadership, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Character – The Single Factor That Delivers

How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you many things about his character. Crisis doesn’t necessarily make character, but it certainly does reveal it. Adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one from two paths: CHARACTER or COMPROMISE. Every time he chooses character, he becomes stronger, even if that choice brings negative consequences.

As Nobel prize winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn noted, “The meaning of earthly existing lies, not as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering, but in the development of the soul.” The development of character is at the heart of our development not just as leaders, but as human beings.

What must every person know about character?

1. Character Is More Than Talk

Anyone can say that he has integrity, but action is the real indicator of character. Your character determines who you are. Who you are – determines what you see. What you see – determines what you do. That’s why you can never separate a leader’s character from his actions. If a leader’s action and intentions are continually working against each other, then look to his character to find out why.

2. Talent Is a Gift, But Character Is a Choice

We have no control over a lot of things in life. We don’t get to choose our parents. We don’t select the location or circumstances of our birth and upbringing. We don’t get to pick our talents or IQ. But we do choose our character. In fact, we create it everytime we make choices, to cop out or dig out of a hard situation, to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it, to take the easy money or pay the price. As you live your life and make choices today, you are continuing to create your character.

3. Character Brings Lasting Success With People

True leadership always involves other people. As the leadership proverb says, if you think you’re leading and no one is following you, then you’re only taking a walk. Followers do not trust leaders whose character they know to be flawed, and they will not continue following them.

4. Leaders Cannot Rise Above the Limitations of Their Character

Have you ever seen highly talented people suddenly fall apart when they achieved a certain level of success? The key to that phenomenon is character. Steven Berglas, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of The Success Syndrome, says that people who achieve great heights but lack the bedrock character to sustain them through the stress are headed for disaster. He believes they are destined for one or more of the four A’s: arrogance, painfull feelings of aloneness, destructive adventure-seeking, or adultery. Each is a terrible price to pay for weak character.

To improve your character, do the following:

  1. Search for the cracks. Spend some time looking at major areas of your life (work, family, marriage, service, etc.), and identify anywhere you might have cut corners, compromised, or let people down. Write down every instance yo can recall from the past two months.
  2. Look for patterns. Examine the responses that you just wrote down. Is there a particular area where yo have a weakness, or do you have a type of problem that keeps surfacing? Detectable patterns will help you diagnose character issues.
  3. Face the music. The beginning of character repair comes when you face your flaws, apologize, and deal with the consequences of your actions. Create a list of people to whom you need to apologize for your actions, then follow through with sincere apologies.
  4. Rebuild. It’s one thing to face up to your past actions. It’s another thing to build a new future. Now that you’ve identified any areas of weakness, create a plan that will prevent you from making the same mistakes again.

“Never “for the sake of peace and quiet” deny your own experience or convictions” – Dag Hammarskjold

Source: The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader – John C. Maxwell

November 28, 2008 Posted by | Career, Change Management, Discipline, Intra Personal Skill, Leadership, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Change Leader

One cannot manage change. One can only be ahead of it.  In a period of upheavel, such as the one we are living in, change is the norm.  To be sure, it is painful and risky, and above all it requires a great deal of very hard work.  But unless it is seen as the task of the organization to lead change, the organization will not survive.  

In a period of rapid structural change, the only ones who survive are the change leaders. A change leader sees change as an opportunity.  A change leader looks for change, knows how to find the right changes, and knows how to make them effective both outside of the organization and inside it.  To make the future is highly risky.  It is less risky, however, then not to try to make it.  A goodly proportion of those attempting to will surely not succeed.  But predictably, no one else will.

“If we want to change the situation, we first have to change ourselves
And to change ourselves effectively, we first have to change our perceptions”
(Stephen R. Covey)
source : The Daily Drucker – Peter F. Drucker

November 25, 2008 Posted by | Career, Change Management, Intra Personal Skill, Leadership, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Most Of The Time We Are WRONG

What do you see from the picture above? Is it rabbit? Or Duck? Or something else perhaps? (please tell me what you think). Now I’m sure someone smart like you could already relate the picture with my post title.
Many of us, husbands, wifes, parents, and leaders, have their own judgment towards situations and other people. The life long lesson about being self confident and decisive, however, must be reviewed once again. Because in fact, most of the time, whatever we do or decide could probably be wrong.
This is a matter of being objective. If we pull ourselves far enough to see things clearly, we will be surprised that human are just selfish and generally always think that he/she’s right. We feel so confident that we feel that we don’t need to consult on others of what good or bad the outcome would be from the other side.
Many people fail to see this as something important and not surprisingly, especially for leaders, they lost their influence.
Here are … tips on how to make a good call without stepping on other’s feet
  1. Listen more, don’t talk so much, even if you feel like talking, don’t do that, because when you start to talk, people listen, and you will not capture their thoughts this way.
  2. After done listening, don’t start by making statements immediately, instead, make questions and dig more.
  3. You may want to hear from more related people if there’re any.
  4. Then you can formulate a wise call that accomodate their needs and last but not least, your need also.
  5. After you make the call, see it through, because it shows your commitment and you will win other’s respect instantly by doing so.

So, being decisive is not a matter of how fast a decision is made. But how a decision is formulated is much more important. A slow, but correct decision is worth many times rather that a quick but wrong one.

November 15, 2008 Posted by | Career, Intra Personal Skill, Leadership, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Think Strategically

“To think strategically is to think with discipline and make informed decisions
about the direction you want to go” – John Wood

Thinking strategically is a learned skill. You develop strategic savvy by asking smart questions, digging for answers and looking past assumptions or “truths” that limit your perspective.

You’ve probably never given much thought to your strategic thinking process. It’s non an easy-to-evaluate skill, like typing or writing memos. But now that you’re a leader, you must demonstrate your ability to think outside the box and attack challenges with intellectual vigor. Get in the habit of asking penetrating questions to your team and giving them the time to research the answers. The more you ask, the more you and they will learn.

Running a SWOT analysis helps you think strategically. Identifying the pros and cons, along with the opportunities and dangers that might arise, enables you to assess how to proceed. Involve your team in this exercise. Welcome their input and brainstorm freely. This gives everyone a change to make each other smarter.

The following are some tips to improve your strategic thinking :
Dig down at leas three layers : look deeper than just the surface of the problem. Keep asking “why” until you find the root cause.
Perform triage : focus only on the most compelling, revealing strands of information to avoid getting buried in a dumping ground of data.
Weigh all sides – and all consequences : think ahead to identify the repercussions of a strategic decision.

source : The Manager’s Handbook – McGraw Hills

November 14, 2008 Posted by | Career, Leadership, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Pygmalion Effect – Principles Of Positive Thinking

“Whether you think you can or can not, you are usually right” – Henry Ford
Pygmalion – (Greek mythology) a king who created a statue of a woman and fell in love with it; Aphrodite brought the sculpture to life as Galatea
Pygmalion was a young man who has awesome talent in sculpture. His work was second to none. However, his ability is not the one that called friends and neighbours to worship him.
– If the center atrium in town is full of dirt and people are complaining, he would say “We’re blessed, the other atrium is not this dirty”
– When a sculpture buyer drives a hard bargain and Pygmalion’s friend whispered around about how cheap that person is, he would say “Perhaps that person have another important needs, so he has to spend wisely”
– When kids stole apples in his yard, he did not swear. Instead, he felt pity “Unfortunate for them for not having enough food and education in their homes”
That’s how Pygmalion thinks. He never sees thing from the bad side, instead his mind automatically search for the positive side in everything.
One day, he is sculpturing a very smooth wooden statue of a woman. The statue has a dimension that is similar to that of real human. When the work is done, it really resembles a human being. It smiles attractively and it has body curves to die for.
His friends commented “No matter how good your statue is…it will always remain a statue. It is not your wife”
Despite those comments, Pygmalion treated the wooden statue as a real human. Countless time that he stared and touched it.
God in Mount Olympus finally noticed and somehow pay great deal of respect upon Pygmalion’s efforts and decided to turn the statue into real human. Then, he lived happily ever after with his summoned wife, which legend has her as the most beautiful women in Greece.
His name is still remembered until now to represent the effect of positive thinking. When we think positively, many times the results will also end up positive.
For example.
  1. If we are polite to other people, then that person will also be polite toward us.
  2. If we treat our children as smart ones, then they will turn into smart kids.
  3. If we are sure that our efforts will bring results, there’s big chance that results will follow

Those positive effect is called the “Pygmalion Effect”

Our minds has a strange “prophecy fulflling” function, whether positive or negative.

  1. When we think our neighbour is not a friend to keep, then they will act as one.
  2. If we regard our children dishonest, they will lie to us
  3. If we are desperate and think that whatever we do will be in vain, then we are not going to make it

Pygmalion’s way is to think, perceive, and to hope only good things from a situation or someone.

The colour of our life is dependant to the colour of the “glasses” we put on. Life will get better if we see it better. Think positive about ourself, others, situations, and God.
Good family relationship, more trustable friends and neighbours, working becomes fun, the world is friendlier, life is more beautiful are some of many more positive results if we implant this Pygmalion factor in our mind.
So, make sure you have a Pygmalion inside.
Have a nice day!
Image by thefreedictionary

November 12, 2008 Posted by | Career, Change Management, Intra Personal Skill, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Focus On Contribution

The great majority of executives tend to focus downward.  They are occupied with efforts rather than with results.  They worry over what the organization and their supervisors “owe” them and should do for them.  And they are conscious above all of the authority they “should have.” As a result, they tender themselves ineffectual.  

The effective executive focuses on contribution.  He looks up from his work and outward toward goals.  He asks:  “ What can I contribute that will significantly affect the performance and the results of the institution I serve?” His stress on responsibility.

The focus on contribution is the key to effectiveness: in a person’s own work – its content, its level, its  standard, and its impact,
in his relations with others – his superiors, his associates, his subordinates, in his use of the tools of the executive such as meeting or reports.  

The focus on contribution turns the executive’s attention away from his own specialty, his own narrow skills, his own department, and toward the performance of the whole.  It turns his attention to the outside, the only place where there are results.

source : The Daily Drucker  – Peter. F. Drucker

November 12, 2008 Posted by | Career, Intra Personal Skill, Self Improvement, Workplace Improvement | , , , , , , | Leave a comment