Charisma – The Invisible Power That Gives You The Edge
Most people think of charisma as something mystical, almost undefinable. They think it’s a quality that comes at birth or not at all. But that’s not true.
Charisma plainly stated, is the ability to draw people near you. And like any other traits, it can be developed.
To make yourself the kind of person who attracts others, you need to personify these pointers:
1. Love Life
People enjoy leaders who enjoy life. Think of people you want to spend time with. How would you describe them? Grumpy? Bitter? Depressed? Of course not. They’re celebrators, not complainers. They’re passionate about life. If you want to attract people, you need to be like the people you enjoy being with.
2. Put a “10” on Every Person’s Head
One of the best things you can do for people which also attracts them to you is to expect the best of them. I call it putting a “10” on everyone’s head. It helps others think more highly of themselves, and at the same time, it also helps you. If you appreciate others, encourage them, and help them reach their potential, they will love you for it.
3. Give People Hope
French General Napoleon Bonaparte characterized leaders as “dealers in hope.” Like all great leaders, he knew that hope is the greatest of all possessions. If you can be the person who bestows that gift on others, they will be attracted to you, and they will be forever grateful.
4. Share Yourself
People love leaders who share themselves and their life journeys. As you lead people, give of yourself. Share wisdom, resources, and even special occasions.
When it comes to charisma, the bottom line is otherminded-ness. Leader who think about others and their concerns before thinking of themselves exhibit charisma.
Now, to improve your charisma, do the following:
1. Change your Focus. Observe your interaction with people during the next few years. As you talk to others, determine how much of your conversation is concentrated on yourself. Determine to tip the balance in favor of focusing on others.
2. Play the first impression game. Try an experiment. The next time you meet someone for the first time, try your best to make good impression. Learn the person’s name. Focus on his interests. Be positive. And most important, treat him as a “10”. If you can do this for a day, you can do this everyday. And it will increase your charisma overnight.
3. Share yourself. Make it your long term goal to share your resources with others. Think about how you can add value to five people in your life this year. They can be family members, colleagues, employees, or friends. Provide resources to help them grow personally and professionally, and share your personal journey with them.
Character – The Single Factor That Delivers
How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you many things about his character. Crisis doesn’t necessarily make character, but it certainly does reveal it. Adversity is a crossroads that makes a person choose one from two paths: CHARACTER or COMPROMISE. Every time he chooses character, he becomes stronger, even if that choice brings negative consequences.
As Nobel prize winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn noted, “The meaning of earthly existing lies, not as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering, but in the development of the soul.” The development of character is at the heart of our development not just as leaders, but as human beings.
What must every person know about character?
1. Character Is More Than Talk
Anyone can say that he has integrity, but action is the real indicator of character. Your character determines who you are. Who you are – determines what you see. What you see – determines what you do. That’s why you can never separate a leader’s character from his actions. If a leader’s action and intentions are continually working against each other, then look to his character to find out why.
2. Talent Is a Gift, But Character Is a Choice
We have no control over a lot of things in life. We don’t get to choose our parents. We don’t select the location or circumstances of our birth and upbringing. We don’t get to pick our talents or IQ. But we do choose our character. In fact, we create it everytime we make choices, to cop out or dig out of a hard situation, to bend the truth or stand under the weight of it, to take the easy money or pay the price. As you live your life and make choices today, you are continuing to create your character.
3. Character Brings Lasting Success With People
True leadership always involves other people. As the leadership proverb says, if you think you’re leading and no one is following you, then you’re only taking a walk. Followers do not trust leaders whose character they know to be flawed, and they will not continue following them.
4. Leaders Cannot Rise Above the Limitations of Their Character
Have you ever seen highly talented people suddenly fall apart when they achieved a certain level of success? The key to that phenomenon is character. Steven Berglas, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of The Success Syndrome, says that people who achieve great heights but lack the bedrock character to sustain them through the stress are headed for disaster. He believes they are destined for one or more of the four A’s: arrogance, painfull feelings of aloneness, destructive adventure-seeking, or adultery. Each is a terrible price to pay for weak character.
To improve your character, do the following:
- Search for the cracks. Spend some time looking at major areas of your life (work, family, marriage, service, etc.), and identify anywhere you might have cut corners, compromised, or let people down. Write down every instance yo can recall from the past two months.
- Look for patterns. Examine the responses that you just wrote down. Is there a particular area where yo have a weakness, or do you have a type of problem that keeps surfacing? Detectable patterns will help you diagnose character issues.
- Face the music. The beginning of character repair comes when you face your flaws, apologize, and deal with the consequences of your actions. Create a list of people to whom you need to apologize for your actions, then follow through with sincere apologies.
- Rebuild. It’s one thing to face up to your past actions. It’s another thing to build a new future. Now that you’ve identified any areas of weakness, create a plan that will prevent you from making the same mistakes again.
“Never “for the sake of peace and quiet” deny your own experience or convictions” – Dag Hammarskjold
Source: The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader – John C. Maxwell
Lead a Good Life 